Good morning, everyone. Today, April 25th, 2020. I'd like to discuss the complexities behind one of my most talked about videos...
Initially titled The Final Interview on my Youtube channel, the video that chronicles my brush with a rather toxic relationship has now aptly been named The Sociopath. While some may find this harsh, in the months that followed my detachment from what was at a first a joyous friendship I learned that it is often our inability to label a situation for what it is that causes us so much grief in the long run.
In the months that followed my decision to remove myself from what I now see as a very toxic relationship I went through a series of emotions that I've never spoken about before. In Season 3 of Life of Dmitri Ruwan, you get to see a portion of this from my friends varying opinions on the situation to my battle with seeking closure. My channel has always been a candid view of my life and I see no reason to edit out moments that most accurately depict the roller-coaster of emotions one goes through when faced with something so trying. The thing is, there's something I didn't mention on the series...
After the episode in Season 3: Dear John where I read my final goodbye letter, there's more to the story. I did reach out to him once more, in fact I was in touch with him in brief spurts in a final effort to try and salvage what to me, was for all its flaws, something meaningful. However, through our awkward message exchanges it became clear to me that what I was seeking; a return to a more evolved friendship, would never come to be. In order for two people to move forward, there has to be a desire to acknowledge, learn and grow in unison from what was done, and I would never get that from him. What I did receive in its place, was a very curt message saying "Take care and good luck with everything in your path! :) ( yes, smily face included) keeping in mind that my final message was about 125 words and included everything from, my video wasn't meant to hurt you, I see now that we will never go back to what it was... you get the general message.
The truth is, I rarely let people into my life and he became a very real part of it. But, when push came to shove, he wasn't going to fight for me. When all was said and done I meant so very little to him that he couldn't pick up the phone and call me or at the very least send me a message of his own accord. The truth is, in life sometimes we are so carried away with the superficial actions of some people that we allow ourselves to become a nameless planet in their orbit, not knowing that with each day that passes we lose more of ourselves. I didn't reach out to him because I regretted what transpired, I reached out because I valued the goodness our connection possessed. Suffice to say, today I am well, I am thriving and I am more focused than ever before. And him?
Since the publication of this article he has done something quite similar to yet another person, and that didn't surprise me. Damaged people often damage others, but aren't we all damaged in some way? The cure to heal from past hurt isn't to inflict more of it, the cure is to learn to love ourselves despite of it.
If you or someone you know is going through something similar, please share your story with me.
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